How The Political Party Works
December 11, 2021
By NZB3
This picture shows how political parties appear to work to the Statists who excuse what they see. A stove with a live burning, heating nothing. The pan on the wrong element with broken egg shells in it. The raw egg has fallen below the pan onto the stove top beside a dead burner. It appears that this is how the political party works. That’s how it appears to work to the public who excuse it. The public think the party must be incompetent or even evil. Their solution is to bring in anther party. Eventually, similar ‘evil’/’incompetent’ operations are performed by the new party whereupon the party-swapping procedure is repeated. Meet the new boss, same as the old boss.
But what is really going on is not evil or incompetent. This isn’t bad government at all but government doing what it’s supposed to do. It is fully functional but unseen.
The party has a secret deal to inefficiently warm the room with gas in exchange for campaign contributions from cold-blooded reptiles.
The party ‘accidentally’ lost an egg so the budget will need to double to accommodate. Maybe triple. Budget blow-outs in public works are consistent and constant. Few will notice enough to care and an obliging media will hush the problem. At worst, a Minister will be sacked or demoted and the party will go on.
The cleaning contractors paid a suspiciously high amount will have a make-work task to justify their existence to the public.
The chicken has been subject to Eminent Domain for the national interest but then most of its eggs sold to a Russian company for Chinese export.
The indigenous community must be paid reparations because a white egg was used rather than a brown one. The party will pay a settlement of compensation to party members who are also representatives of the indigenous community and many lawyers friendly to the party will earn high fees for many years conveyancing this settlement.
The foreign loan to buy the pan had money left over for other party projects otherwise difficult/impossible to raise funds for on their own merit.
The dangerous lit burner leads to matches “buy-backs” and harsher scrutiny of public ownership of fire sticks. Meanwhile, party affiliated officers become more highly armed than ever to keep the public safe.
The company the over-priced pan was purchased from is owned by a school friend of a party member who is also a generous contributor to the party’s re-election fund.
Attention over the debacle leads to a review of stove ownership. To “help” new stove owners the sale of stoves becomes more heavily regulated so that only the very wealthy can afford them and everyone else has to rent at higher prices than ever before. Many stoves sit empty as it becomes impossible to evict bad stove-users or raise rents. Stoveless people re-elect the party in the hopes of further reforms. A new Stove Gains Tax disincentivises stove-builders from improving stoves or building any in the first place.
The broken shells necessitate a Royal Commission of Inquiry by a highly paid associate of the Party whose report will take many years to complete and then be ignored. Or, repeated and ignored.
The unused burners are used to justify a party over-haul of the resource management legislation into the form they prefer.
As the pan handle catches fire the party calls it a “natural disaster” and “tragedy” and while everyone is distracted the party allows their scandals to be aired in public before wrapping them up under an embargo in time for attention to return to normal settings.
The splattered egg has created an environmental disaster calling in to question the safety of eggs in this country. To stop the negative PR from the party the egg farmers are obliged to save their brand by making concessions to the party.
An expensive sculpture memorialising the lighting of the burner will be created by a party member’s nephew at great cost and to facilitate money laundering. The sculpture will be placed inside the washing machine where it gets in the way and is disruptive and unwanted by the people who use that space.
The breaking of the egg in the first place was a photo opportunity for the party leader.
The party leader will be recognised by the United Nations and the Royal Swedish Academy of Sciences for their tireless efforts to feed the hungry.
This is government and I am an Anarchist.
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