53 Days: Muller the Plumber
July 14, 2020
By NZB3
Don’t think I ever said this on record but I’ve always considered Todd Muller to be a Stalking Horse for the true next leader of the National Party. Just a Kiwifruit Crapitalist…not even sure what he’s doing being an MP in the first place. Seems more like a plumber who shows up in blue over-alls, takes his shoes off at your door, and unclogs your drains. You have a nice chat about gardening, he accepts a cup of coffee, and he leaves for his next job.
By spending a few weeks ‘in charge’, Muller has facilitated a big House Cleaning for the parliamentary party. They’ve cleared the ground by flushing away Simon Bridges and his Jami-Lee Ross problems. Michelle Boag and Hamish Walker have been chucked in the skip. Paula Bennett is swept off the political map. Amy Adams just got saved from another mocking newscycle before it even began (Said a South Korean candidate was a Chinese.) That’s too much of a repeat of the earlier goof when Muller’s deputy, Nikki Kaye¹, claimed Paul Goldsmith was a Maori!
Goodness knows what other dirty laundry has been cleaned out of National’s closet in the 53 days of Mullership. Researchers, MPs, deals, promises, commitments, lies, scandals,…it’s been an unclogging. A reset. A fresh deck.
Muller, in my opinion, was never supposed to be the leader of this nation or his party. His legacy, his job, was to lead a demolition crew to tidy up the National Parliamentary caucus. It’s a thankless task that the media and the voter will not appreciate but it had to be done. It was a plumbing job. Muller has unblocked the drain on the National Party toilet so that the next user can sit on this throne and do battle with Jacinda Ardern upon hers.
My prediction has long been that the next political leadership dichotomy will resemble Honour Culture exponents such as Stuart Nash and Judith Collins. This might be happening now as Judith already has a book published.
National’s next leader will now be in a position to pull a Jacinda by being a fresh new leader 66 days before the General Election if they start right now. When Jacinda Ardern became leader of her party she had 53 days so it should be no trouble at all!
Muller, at best, was John the Baptist. If you know your Bible, he’s the guy who prepares the way for Christianity but ends up with his head chopped off on a platter. Judith Collins will be the Jesus Christ of the story, the one who comes along to take advantage of the ground already prepared.
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1 Kaye problem/s solved by the Plumber too. Eg. “National MP Nikki Kaye says her step-brother being found guilty of killing his prison cellmate is “a really tough situation.””- MP Nikki Kaye’s stepbrother convicted of murder; NZ Herald
Note: Mike Moore, as Prime Minister, also had 53 days between becoming leader and facing the day of General Election 1990. He was not successful.
Update: Adams and Kaye are both leaving national politics. Thanks to Muller they get to go quietly. Kaye was burned and the public may never know how now it’s been handled by The Plumber
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